Doomed I Tell You Doomed!

Doomed I Tell You Doomed!
Society in modern America frightens me. It frightens me that in this day and age someone can be denied access to this country for moral turpitude. Moral Turpitude! Who lodged these charges? Mary Baker Eddy? When was the last time some one was charged with moral turpitude? We are going to hell! The signs are appearing! Madonna is in the rock and roll hall of fame! Who’s next Cher? I’m sure Madonna is a very nice lady but lets face it rock and roll she is not. She may possibly roll but certainly doesn’t rock. I blame this all on Nancy Reagan. The bitch got the whole thing started. Her war on fun is being fully waged now. We are under attack. The Morally Correct are taking over the world. The only good thing I can say about Madonna being inducted into the hall of fame is at least she has no morals and if she does she certainly doesn’t flaunt them. Don’t get me wrong our society has sluts but they are all vapid sluts. Brittany Spears doesn’t have an intellectual thought in her head. She goes shopping and out for big gulps. Paris Hilton should be voted into the vapid hall of fame along with all her fans. Fans of what exactly I don’t know. Did you hear any of her CD? I have to admit I did give 3 tracks about 15 seconds each. The dumbing down and moral correctness is undermining our society. Where is Mimi Farina when we need her? What’s going on in our society is bullshit. Barak Obama smoked pot. Come on, he grew up in the 70’s and was in college in the eighties, who didn’t smoke pot? Even christians smoked pot! If you didn’t you were suspect. Thank goodness for people like Barney Frank. He has been trying to decriminalize marijuana for years. SICK PEOPLE NEED IT. Stoners don’t go out and get into high speed car wrecks; drunks do. Stoners can’t find their keys.
Sebastian Horsley can’t come into this country because he admitted to having been arrested and using drugs. Boy George seems to have no problem crossing borders. Where is the justice in that? Amy Winehouse is the junkie du jour. Perhaps it is England causing all our problems. It must be a plot of Prince Philip’s. Is he hatching another evil plan in a tower of Balmoral? Is this all in retribution for 1776? It would explain George Michael’s latest tour.
We are doomed I tell you doomed! People don’t play guitars anymore they play a computer game about playing guitars! We are turning into mindless spineless jelly. How much longer until evolution evolves us back to a protoplasm? Is it our future to exist as mere electrical impulses in ectoplasm? Are we to become cognisant aspic? What does Lee Ron Hubbard have to say? Some one summon Sacred Leader Cruise for advice.

Poor Pamela Anderson

It is official Pamela Anderson is single again! She and husband du jour are calling it quits. They are asking for an anullment! Does this mean she will take up with Tommy again? Isn't that what she usually does? Poor vapid thing!

It seems her marriage was a fraud! The soon to be ex was once married to Shannon Doherty. That's a man with good taste No?

Call the Morals Police! STAT!

By JILL LAWLESS, Associated Press Writer Fri Mar 21, 7:57 AM ET
LONDON - British writer and self-styled dandy Sebastian Horsley was denied entry to the United States after arriving to promote his memoir of sex, drugs and flamboyant fashion.
Horsley said he was questioned for eight hours Tuesday by border officials at Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey before being denied entry on grounds of "moral turpitude."
The 45-year-old author was traveling to New York for the U.S. launch of "Dandy in the Underworld," his account of a life dedicated to sex, drugs and finely tailored clothes.
"I was dressed flamboyantly — top hat, long velvet coat, gloves," Horsley said. "My one concession to American sensibilities was to remove my nail polish. I thought that would get me through."
According to Lucille Cirillo, a spokeswoman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection, Horsley was traveling under the CBP's visa waiver program, which entitles citizens of some countries — mostly in the European Union — to enter the United States for business or leisure without applying for a visa. Travelers can be refused entry if they admit on a customs form to being convicted of a crime or to being addicted to narcotics, Cirillo said.
She declined to specify what responses Horsley listed on the form.
"We interviewed the individual extensively and the CBP officers decided he was not admissible under the visa waiver program," she said.
Horsley can still apply for a visa to return to the United States, Cirillo said.
"They knew more about me than I did," Horsley said Thursday in an interview from his London home. "They said, 'We know you're a heroin addict, we know you're a crack addict, we know you're involved in prostitution.'"
Horsley's book — billed as an "unauthorized autobiography" — vividly recounts years of heavy drug use and frequent visits to prostitutes. He says he has been drug-free for three years.
He said his only conviction stemmed from an arrest 25 years ago for possession of amphetamine sulfate, for which he was given a conditional discharge. He said he has visited the United States seven or eight times without incident.
"Dandy in the Underworld" was released in Britain last year to good reviews. Carrie Kania, of the book's U.S. publisher Harper Perennial, an imprint of HarperCollins, said the book was "a cautionary tale of a life lived vividly."
"It is unfortunate that his voice, in person, is being stifled. But the book will live on," Kania said.
Horsley achieved his greatest notoriety in 2000 when he had himself crucified in the Philippines as part of an art project

From Found Magazine

From Found Magazine

Found Magazine

I am a huge fan of found magazine. It is truly one of the funniest magazines. They also have a website www.foundmagazine.com I highly recommend checking it out. It never ceases to crack me up. There are compilaton books available as well. In one of the books is a found piece that used to hang in the bathroom of my old apartment. My old room mate Paul had found it as well as the person who submitted it to the magazine. It is a flier for a "Legendary Teenage Drummer". It is hilarious!

Klaus Naomi

I was shocked to find there was nothing in Wikipedia on Klaus Naomi! I once found him so fascinating. He was the oddest of the odd the weirdest of the weird. My first memory of him was on Saturday Night Live when he was David Bowies back up singer. The next time I saw him he was in the window of Fiorucci in Manhattan. I was there to buy some fab thing or another and was entranced by him. I was rumaging through a record store one day in the East Village and found a copy of his record. I have over the years lost that record but I somewhere have a tape with one of his songs on it. I think is is most likely "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead" but there were several others that I loved. "Simple Man" was I think my favorite! I have done a bit of a search for him on the internet and turned up next to nothing. Is he just a footnote? Am I the only one who remembers him? Klaus Naomi where for art thou?

Black Halo's Ripped Off Please

This email was justpassed on to me. I don't know if anyone will see this or know of any of the stuff but I felt it needed to be passed on

Date: Mar 17, 2008 10:03 AMSubject: black halos gear ripped off in montrealBody: hi friends, please keep your eye's open for the following:thx- johnnyBlack Halos Gear, Merch and CD's all stolenBody: Black Halos Gear, Merch and CD..s all stolenLast night in Montreal our van and trailer was stolen with all our our gear, merch and CD..s. None of these items are insured.Below is a list of gear that was stolen. PLEASE WATCH FOR ANY OF THESE ITEMS on the internet or at pawn shops.Please also note we had close to 400 CD..s stolen with our merch. IF YOU SEE THE CD..S ("WE ARE NOT ALONE") FOR SALE ON ANY WEBSITE OTHER THAN HISTORY MUSIC, PEOPLE LIKE YOU OR ACETATE SITES PLEASE E-MAIL US.PLEASE RE-POST THIS EVERYWHERE YOU CANRob..sLudwig 4 piece drum set Red Glitter Metal Flake24 inch Bass drum w/ Black Halos front head logo14 inch Rack Tom18 inch Floor Tom14 x 6.5 inch Dunnett custom metal snare drum (personally autgoraphed by Dunnett on inside of shell)DW 5000 double chain drum pedal3 Pearl strait cymbal stands1 Pearl high hat stand24 inch Paiste 2002 Ride Cymbal14 inch Zildjen Z series high hats18 inch Zildjen A series Rock Crash19 inch Zildjen A series Rock Crash16 inch Zildjen A series Rock CrashYamaha snare standPearl rack tom mount standAll drums are in hard shell black cases all with yellow Black Halos logo on themJohnny..stwo guitars in red/silver aluminum road case. guitar one: 1960 Gibsonles paul( sunburst finish). it has been re- finished on the backsideof the neck by the head-stock. it’s dis-colored there.guitar two: white, Sparrow rat-rod ( looks like a les paul). has ablack pic guard and has the black halos logo lettering on thebody.skull and wings on the back of body.one,Bogner guitar head. 100 watt model ( the Ecstasy) black , with no handle. one traynor new 4/12 guitar cab with vitage 30's. black with metal front.one, Fender 4/10 deville guitar amp. black/silverone orange tool box full of guitar cords/ guitar strings/ threeguitar effect’s pedals.pedals from orange box: 1.) vox wah-wah ( silver/blk)2.) boss, super distortion (yellow)3.) custom red/black distortionpedal. (turbo tube screamer)one suitcase with guitar effects pedal board. pedal 1.) bogner foot controller2.) boss tuner (white/black3.) morley a/b amp switch4.) boss super phaser (green)5.) digitech wah pedal ( red/black)two guitar stands, one holds 3 guitar/ the other holds 5.Adam..s1 Black Custom made Sparrow primitive 335 Electric Hollowbody guitar. No Serial Numbername ....Vanessa.... painted on headstock . Silver Skull and Wings Art work on front of guitar.Silver Black Halos Logo painted on back of guitar.1 Black Custom made Sparrow primitive 335 Electric Hollowbody guitar. No Serial NumberBlue with Purple Detailed graphic artwork.1 modified Peavey 100 watt Classic Guitar Amplifier Head. See Band Manifest for Serial NumberTweed in Colour with Leapard Print Fabric on Front. Various stickers and Tape.1 Black Scuba zip off BackPack.Contains the following guitar items.1 Blue MXR 10 band EQ guitar effect box.See Band Manifest for Serial Numbershardwired powercord attached had pink tape on it1 modified Blue MXR 10 band EQ guitar effect box. Serial number not available.no powercord attached. switch installed. had pink tape on it.1 white Boss TU-2 guitar tuner. See Band Manifest for serial number.3 black 18 ft guitar cords1 black 2 ft gtr cord1 tweed 18 ft guitar cord2 blue 6 inch guitar cords1 black 3 ft speaker cordapproximately 7-10 packs Ernie Ball Guitar Strings1 pack of 50 sparrow guitar pics1 Black 4x12 Trayner Guitar Speaker CabinetJR..sFender Precision Bass. Sunburst finish with black pickguard.SKB Fender hardshell case.Rickenbacker 4003 Bass. Jet Glo (Black) finish with black Pickguardiancustom pickup cover.Rickenbacker hardshell case.Gallien-Krueger 800RB bass head.Traynor TC810 bass cabinetProco Turbo Rat distortion pedalBoss TU-2 Cromatic TunerBlack bag with pedals also had items below.2 Yorkville 20" patch cords (angled end)1 Yorkville 10" patch cord2 packs medium L&M bass strings.PLEASE RE-POST THIS EVERYWHERE YOU CANIF YOU HAVE ANY INFO ABOUT ANY OF THESE ITEMS PLEASE CONTACT DANNY CAMEOdannycameo@shaw.ca(604) 781-2075

The 31 Cranston

Departing just feet from the Intermodal RIRTA bus terminal in Kennedy Plaza at pole “E” the 31 Cranston eventually terminates feet into Cranston at the Brewery Parkade. This is my route. I live in the Armory and the 31 passes within a block from my place. All my RIPTA adventures start on the 31 and so shall this column. The 31 is a colorful and surprisingly efficient route.
Starting at Kennedy Plaza the bus travels past city hall and onto Washington St. passing the Grande Dame of Providence Hotels, the Biltmore. The first stop is at Mathewson St. between Lupo’s and Local 121 directly across from the Arnold Building one of, if not the narrowest building in Providence. The next stop after passing Trinity Sq. is the Beau Arts edifice of the Providence Public Library. The 31 then crosses over the 95 canyon by the “public safety complex” and zigzags onto Westminster past Classical and Central High Schools plus the coffee shops and bookstores of Hoyle Square. Westminster veers to the right and Cranston St. to the left of the original Citizen’s Bank building once the locale of Hoyle’s Tavern ,the name sake of the square. After the Hoyle Square stop the 31 continues along Cranston St. passing the burned out relic of the Loutit dry cleaning plant; fabled to be the sight of future condominiums. Who would want to live in such a toxic place? Wiggin Village is just past on the right at the corner of Cranston and Bridgeham Streets is the Wiggimat. In my opinion, the best name of any business in all of Providence.
Along the next block is Tropical Liquors. There is always not often but always something happening along this block. On the right just past Tropical is the Armory building itself. The turreted and parapeted castle looms medievally for an entire city block. My usual stop is at Parade St directly in front of the castle itself, what better bus stop could there be? Armory Park and it’s Victorian painted ladies is to the right and the hood is to the left. Once the 31 crosses Parade St. it enters the heart of the Westend. Bodegas and hair salons, music stores and ethnic restaurants line block after block of Cranston St. La Excellencia a most aptly named burrito place is a block past the Armory on the left. Five bucks will get you a fantastic burrito the size of your head. Further along on the right is the Ebenezer Baptist church and some of the best Sunday morning hats you will ever see. Almost directly across the street is Dairy King, an old school walk up ice cream shop where fudgicles and soft serve are sold through the window onto the sidewalk.
Cranston Street continues on passing African markets and Laundromats, Liquor stores and bars until the city line where it passes across Huntington Ave. and under Rte. 10. At the next block the 31 turns onto Garfield Ave. at the Cranston Court house and goes into The Brewery Parkade the site of the departed and beloved Narragansett Brewery. This is the terminus of the route in front of a Lowes, Stop and Shop and a few other big box stores.
Service on the 31 is regular and follows the schedule more or less. It runs 7 days a week and holidays starting at 5:50 am until 11:55pm weekdays and 7am to 8pm on the weekends. The morning and evening commute times are often crowded especially when school is in session. A mix of different people ride this convenient and some times very colorful route. Overheard one Friday afternoon: “Be careful of her! She’s got a Vetrinarial disease!”

The City in the Winter

The Sleazies

cold beer hot pussy no cover

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Whore's Mascara

I have never been a fan of club or dance music. I guess I get bored to easily. I listen to some stuff here and there and sometimes on the rare occasions I am in a dance club or a place playing club music I do hear something I like. I recently heard something I liked and it was by Whore’s Mascara. I had naturally never heard of them but thought they sounded fun. I wrote their name down on a notebook I sometimes cleverly carry with me. A couple of days later I was cleaning out a jacket and found my clever little notebook and the words Whore’s Mascara scrawled on it, I googled them. It turns out they have a few recordings out and a couple of videos. I checked out their video on U-tube and then their MySpace page. It seems that Whore’s Mascara is two guys Chaz Kourday and Lonni Bahls sometimes joined by a woman named Girl George. They are a New York based act that I guess is dance music. I found them to be extremely funny. “All I want” is the song and video that is making the rounds right now and is a spot on interpretation of the “Gay Lifestyle”. I laughed myself silly watching the video and had to send to a couple of friends who also loved it! “ All I want is a cute blonde boy who sorts cocaine and likes Madonna” “He’s even got this great fag hag friend who’s Asian, fat and really funny” The vapidity of the “Scene” is perfectly skewered by these boys who have obviously been around.
The other songs they have on their sites are equally funny and slutty. These boys know slutty and have made it fun. “Second Coming” is an irreverent dance track that I guess I would dance to if I heard it in a club. “You were hung on the cross, when will you cum again…” a cute funny lyric that will only serve to annoy the religious right/wrong and that is always a good thing in my books. These boys aren’t going to change the world, but I am pretty sure that it isn’t the goal. They are fun and having a good time. Check them out download one of their songs onto your iPod and have a good laugh while you dance.

“Have a ‘Gansett, a Narragansett lager beer”

What goes better with punk rock than cheap beer? Free beer? Well any beer will do really, but cheap beer is a must. Narragansett beer is just one of those beers. Founded sometime in the mid 1800’s Narragansett started brewing lager beer. It became the largest brewing company in New England. Sometime in the late 20th century the brewery was bought by Falstaff brewing and basically fell out of favor and almost out of production. The biggest brand of beer in New England was for intents and purposes dead. Then right at the turn of the 21st century two guys bought the name, got some money together, hired a brew master and got the brew back on the market. They are making good Punk Rock beer. I prefer the tall boy cans; they are the traditional way to drink a ‘Gansett. It is just as good as the original and just as cheap too. If you are paying more than a couple of bucks for a draft you are being shafted! Narragansett has been preserved! These guys deserve some sort of an award for keeping a vital part of punk rock society alive. Cheap beer rules. Cosmos and Manhattans are not punk rock, beer is. That is all there is to it. Shots are great, they’re punk rock too, but beer really is king. Mickey’s and Burgie! are the closest things to Narragansett on the west coast. Narragansett’s other major brew is Haffenreffer. That’s good malt liquor! Equally as punk rock. Malt Liquor can hold its own in. There was a day when every city and area had its own local brew. Girls like Lavern and Shirley really did exist. Times have changed and become more corporate that why it is great to see companies like Narragansett making a come back. Drink the local beer, eat the local food, and see local bands. Don’t let corporate top 40 and homogenization win. Fight the man! Have a “Gansett!

Liquor Liquor Liquor

I love liquor stores. What’s not to love really? They are stores and they sell liquor what more can you want? Cigarettes? They’ve got those too! Providence has an abundance of great liquor stores. It has been a personal goal to go to as many of them as I can. I’ve always got an eye out for a new one. I am not a liquor store snob. I like a dive sometimes more than your swanker establishments. I like everything about liquor stores except one thing, the lottery. The lines always bug me and I just don’t get it. You’re not gonna win! I also don’t get the term Package store. The “packy”, I just don’t get it? I know it’s some Rhode Island expression that I just don’t get but that’s a whole other story. As I said I am always on the look out for a new store, so if you know of any please let me know!
One of my favorite liquor stores is luckily right by my apartment. Tropical Liquors on Cranston St is always a good time. Packed from opening to closing Tropical stocks as various a mix of products as their mix of clientele. You can find an excellent priced ½ 12 pack of Becks or Bass right next to the Olde English. Just across the isle from the boxed wine one can find a decent cabernet at a decent price. The place is always hopping, but nothing bad goes down ever. They don’t go for that kinda crap at Tropical Liquors.
I’m also a big fan of ENO Downtown on Westminster. It’s rather toney for my everyday usage but I do enjoy their selection. I went to a very nice beer tasting there once. I didn’t particularly care for the beer they were showcasing but it was fun and I did find a beer that I love and is hard to find. I am on the constant hunt for a Czech beer called Staropramen and I think they may have a handle on getting some. They have an excellent wine collection at moderate to high prices and a very amicable and knowledgeable staff. They don’t sell cigarettes though and that is a negative for me.
Nikki’s Liquors out on Admiral Street is the place you want to go if you are looking for interesting beer. It’s in a horrible location, an ugly shopping plaza, but the beer collection is outstanding. The prices aren’t cheap and it’s a pain in the ass to get to but I highly recommend it. They have a mixed case deal that is great. If you like craft or import beer this place is for you.
There are two liquor stores off the top of my head I love to go to just because they look great. Swan Liquors on Hope Street is the first. The old coolers and shelves are beautiful and they have a pretty good mix of stock. I used to live in the most boring place in the world, Wayland Square. The only liquor store there is beautiful as well. The coolers are gorgeous; too bad the help is so unpleasant.
I am obsessed with going to the liquor store on Douglas Ave that was in the news recently for serving underage kids. Not that I agree with serving underage kids but I am glad to know that there are still stores like that around. It’s pure nostalgia on my part. “Rinute on ice how nice.”
Campus Liquor on Hope near Wickenden is another favorite of mine. The staff is always nice and they have a great selection. It’s a store I go to if I need to buy a bottle of wine as a gift and don’t want to get screwed on the price. Where the campus its name alludes to isn’t clear to me as it’s an actual bus ride from the Brown campus but whatever. Practically on the Brown campus is an excellent liquor store Spriritus Fermenti. It wins hands down for the most pretentious name but it has a good selection and decent prices. The winner for me in the neon sign category it Nocera’s on Smith St. That is one fine sign and a good little liquor store to boot! There are lots of little liquor store around but few big ones. Gasparros on Atwells is pretty big and their wine collection is legendary. There was a liquor store called Peoples Liquor in the Brewery Parkade that I loved. It was huge. Peoples Liquor, how more egalitarian can you get? It has had a closed for renovations sign in the window for nearly a year. A liquor store with shopping carts, that’s real liquor shopping!
So do yourself a favor and go check out one of these little gems. If there is one that you think I really should see please let me know as I will make a concerted effort to check it out!

The Green Bar

Hands down the Green Bar was one of the weirdest bars in Providence. It was also famous. How many other bars in this town have been on prime time television? I was always frankly scared of it. Sure I went there but I was still always scared. I don’t know why, everyone was actually very nice. You just never knew; it had a sketchy feeling, like something was up or about to happen. That was part of its charm. This was old school Providence. Several court cases and a sale later it recently has changed hands. I wasn’t too sure about the place but I figured what the hell and one night and went in. Exactly the same; except the sketchy feeling was gone and there was decent beer on tap. There were still some crazy people there. Case in point: a very drunk “lady” quacked at me off and on and her boyfriend (?) mumbled something sounding like “steal my coat” into my ear.
One of the reasons I didn’t go to the Green Bar more often was beer. I like beer. I will drink Bud but only in a pinch. That was about it for draught beer at the Green Bar. The first time I went to the Green Bar upon entering I was met to by two ladies sharing a pitcher by the door. “You’re a han-some man. Wanna drink?” There is now a wide selection of draught beer on tap.
The juke box at the Green Bar was eclectic. I guess that would be the word for it. 70’s power metal, hip hop, punk rock, pop you name it. It had it all. I walked to the juke box with trepidation the other night. What would I find? Ta Da, it was all the same only better! Good music, cheap beer and interesting people what more can you ask for in a dive bar?
Oh yeah, the place is called Westminster Public house now.

The Eye of Providence

The eye of Providence is the all seeing eye. Look on the back of your dollars bills its there.