Words of Wisdom From Cookie

"Fortunately I am not the first person to tell you that you will never die. You simply lose your body. You will be the same except you won't have to worry about rent or mortgages or fashionable clothes. You will be released from sexual obsessions. You will not have drug addictions. You will not need alcohol. You will not have to worry about cellulite or cigarettes or cancer or AIDS or venereal disease. You will be free." -Cookie Mueller

Particle acelerators ho!

There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be growing / Are the fires of hell a-glowing? / Is the grisly reaper mowing? / Yes, the danger must be growing / 'Cause the rowers keep on rowing / And they're certainly not showing / Any signs that they are slowing!

Happy Birthday Freddie Mercury

September 5th would have been Freddie Mercury's 62nd birthday. Freddie died in 1991 at the age of 45 from complicatons brought about by the HIV/AIDS virus. Freddie was a rock/camp icon who created some of the most memorable songs in later 20th century popular music. With his band Queen he made top selling pop albums as well as lasting rock masterpieces. The band was inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame after Freiddie's death. As an outrageous front main he performed on stage in a wild and camp style remenicent of Britsh Music Hall, Bollywood and German Cabaret.

Freddie died a day after he publically announced that he was indeed suffering from HIV/AIDS a condition that he had previously denied. He was 45 years old and at the height of his career and creative powers when he died.

paraplegic hunting season

DEM OFERS SPECIAL DEER SEASON FOR PARAPLEGICS/DOUBLE AMPUTEES
PROVIDENCE - A special deer hunting season for hunters who are paraplegics, or double amputees, will be offered by the Department of Environmental Management on Prudence Island from October 12 to October 15.
DEM's Division of Fish and Wildlife has offered this opportunity for over 30 years. According to Lori Suprock, a supervising wildlife biologist at DEM, the program continues to be very popular, offering an average of 10-12 participants the experience of big game hunting. DEM alters the general deer hunting regulations during the special hunt to allow the use of vehicles and other mechanized devices that would ordinarily be prohibited. Paraplegic hunters are also permitted to use shotguns on the island, where taking deer is otherwise restricted to archery hunting.
This year, participants will be able to take advantage of habitat improvements DEM has made on the island. Forest succession had taken over many of the roadways that hunters needed for access with their wheel chairs. Firebreaks, lane ways and fields have recently been brush cut. In addition, the Divisions of Forest Environment and Fish and Wildlife conducted a prescribed burn last spring to set back succession and open up field systems.
As in the past, hunters taking advantage of the special season must hold valid hunting licenses and must have taken hunter education courses. Hunters are permitted to bring assistants who need not be licensed, but who may not hunt or carry a firearm. All deer harvested during the special hunt must be checked prior to leaving the island.

Long Live the King

NUKU'ALOFA (AFP) - Tonga's Siaosi Tupou V was crowned king of his tiny South Pacific nation Friday in a lavish, pomp-filled ceremony attended by royalty from around the world alongside Tongans in traditional dress.
The sovereign of Polynesia's last monarchy sat on a huge golden throne, dressed in silk knee-breeches and a regal cloak trimmed with white ermine for the coronation ceremony, held in Nuku'alofa's Centenary Free Wesleyan Church.
Church bells tolled and a 21-cannon salute rang out as the 60-year-old king was crowned, two years after the death of his father, Taufa'ahau Tupou IV, who reigned for 41 years.
Around 1,000 guests filled the church and hundreds more sat outside trying to catch a glimpse of the king, known as George Tupou V in English.
Japan's Crown Prince Naruhito, Thai Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn and Britain's Duke and Duchess of Gloucester were guests of honour along with regional political leaders and Tongans wearing traditional woven mats around their waists.
Paul Ilavalu, a member of the choir that performed at the ceremony, said the country saw the coronation as a new beginning.
"We are all proud and we are happy to see our king crowned and we wish he will lead us to a new life and a new prosperity," he said.
Originally scheduled for last year, the coronation was delayed as Nuku'alofa reeled from the impact of a November 2006 riot sparked by a political rally in which eight people were killed and dozens of buildings looted and burned.
Since taking power in 2006, Siaosi has backed political reforms in the semi-feudal state, where nearly a quarter of the 115,000 population live under the poverty line.
He has also tried to shake off his reputation as an eccentric figure whose tastes include elaborate uniforms, colonial-era pith helmets, and monocles.
The king entered the church to a fanfare of horns followed by bearers carrying the regal symbols of power of crown, royal sceptre and ring, his three-metre (10-foot)-long train carried by two child pages.
Anglican Archbishop of Polynesia Jabez Bryce anointed the monarch with oil, and later placed the crown on his head.
The Fijian-based archbishop performed all of the rituals that involved touching the king, because protocol forbids Tongans from having physical contact with their monarch.
The archbishop wished the king "a long and glorious course of ruling a temporal kingdom wisely, justly and religiously" as guests fanned themselves in the tropical heat.
Hymns and music were performed by a 370-member local choir and orchestra in a service reflecting the nation's strict Christianity.
"If you went for no other reason, you would go for the singing," said New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark, describing the coronation as an "important episode in the life of Tonga."
American guest James R. Prescott praised the clockwork precision of the ceremony and described it as a "once in a lifetime experience."
The king left the church followed by his mother, 82-year-old Queen Halaevalu Mata'aho, in the royal cloak she wore for her husband's coronation in 1967.
Outside, the gathered crowd cheered as Siosi removed his crown to climb into his restored British Humber limousine for the short journey back to the palace.
Flag-waving school children cheered him along the road laid with ornately painted tapa cloth, made from the bark of the mulberry tree.
The western-style coronation came two days after Siaosi was installed in an ancient Tongan ceremony, in which more than 200 nobles and chiefs presented dozens of slaughtered pigs and hundreds of baskets of food in tribute.
Siaosi was offered a bowl of kava, a mild narcotic drink made from plant roots, to signify his sovereignty over Tonga, a country spread over 170 islands.
Around 5,000 Tongans living overseas returned for the celebrations, which also include a ball, charity concert, fireworks display and military parade.

Wax Winehouse

Amy no no no Winehouse has been immortalized in wax! Madame Troussaud's in London has unveiled a beehived wax figure of the awardwinning "soul" singer this week. Her tats have been lovingly reproduced as has her fab do and micro mini.

Do you take this man?

The Massachusetts Senate today passed a bill that would repeal a 1913 state law that prevents gay and lesbian couples from most other states from marrying in Massachusetts.
The bill, which had the support of Senate President Therese Murray, passed with no objections on a voice vote. Proponents of the repeal called the 1913 law archaic and discriminatory.
"There are very few laws on the books that I can say that I'm ashamed that they're on the books," said State Senator Mark Montigny, a New Bedford Democrat. He said he opposed the law because of the "immorality of discrimination."
"This is a very simple law, contrived in shame, and it exists in shame and we ought to wipe it off the books," he said.
"The 1913 law is a shadow, a terrible shadow. It represents a segregationist past that is best put to rest and put to rest quickly," said Senator Harriette Chandler, a Worcester Democrat.
The law originated when lawmakers in many states were trying to prevent interracial couples from crossing state lines to marry. It fell into obscurity for decades. But it received new attention in 2004, when Republican Governor Mitt Romney invoked it after gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts to prevent out-of-state gay and lesbian couples from marrying here and forcing their home states to consider recognizing Massachusetts marriage law.
“The Massachusetts Senate has no right to infringe on the internal issues of how other states define marriage but that’s exactly what they voted today to do,” Kris Mineau, president, Massachusetts Family Institute, which opposed the repeal, said in a statement after the vote.
The bill now heads to the House, where Speaker Salvatore F. DiMasi has already expressed support. Supporters said they expected the bill to pass the House and be signed by Governor Deval Patrick by the end of the month. "If that bill comes to me, I will sign it and sign it proudly," Patrick said Monday.

Wonka Lives!

PARIS (Reuters) - A French air hostess will become one of Europe's pioneer space tourists after picking a chocolate wrapper out of the rubbish and finding a winning number in a competition to fly to the upper reaches of the earth's atmosphere.
Mathilde Epron, 32, said she had bought a Kit Kat chocolate bar at her local supermarket but initially threw the wrapper in the bin, telling herself that "it's only others who win."
Two hours later, thinking back to the competition, she decided to try her luck and fished the wrapper out of the bin, only to find a code marked inside.
"For someone who works in air travel it's really a dream come true," she told France Info radio.
A spokeswoman for Nestle in France confirmed that Epron had won the prize to take a flight on a four-seater, fighter-sized aircraft built by Rocketplane, a company that builds aircraft intended to provide cheap flights into space.
She will receive four days of astronaut training in Oklahoma City in the United States before boarding the Rocketplane XP aircraft which will reach an altitude of 100 km (60 miles) and allow a five-minute experience of weightlessness.

"WTF Fry Her" said the liberal and Roman Polanski

A follower of Charles Manson who stabbed pregnant actress Sharon Tate to death nearly 40 years ago but is dying of brain cancer in a California prison was denied compassionate release Tuesday.
The California Board of Parole released its unanimous decision on the release of Susan Atkins hours after a 90-minute hearing, during which it heard impassioned pleas from both sides.
"Obviously, it was too hot of a potato for them to handle," said one of Atkins' attorney, Eric P. Lampel. "Of course we're disappointed. There's no basis for denying this."
Lampel filed a motion July 10 with Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge David Wesley asking for his client's release no matter what the parole board recommended. No hearing has been set, Lampel said after the hearing.
"We're going to be able to make the case in court. We'll take it to the next step," he said after being informed of the board's decision by The Associated Press.
Atkins' doctors and officials at the women's prison in Corona made the request in March because of her deteriorating health. She also has had her left leg amputated and is paralyzed on her right side, her husband, James Whitehouse, told the California Board of Parole Hearings.
Whitehouse, also acting as one of Atkins' attorneys, had argued that his wife was so debilitated that she could not even sit up in bed. He told the parole board there was no longer a reason to keep her incarcerated.
"She literally can't snap her fingers," he said. "She can put sentences together three or four times a day, but that's the extent of it."
He said doctors have given her three months to live. Atkins, in a hospital near the Southern California prison where she was housed for nearly 40 years, did not attend Tuesday's hearing.
The request for compassionate leave generated opposition from relatives of the victims, the state corrections department, Los Angeles County prosecutors and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"Those kinds of crimes are just so unbelievable that I am not for compassionate release in that case," Schwarzenegger said Tuesday before the parole board issued its decision.
Atkins, Manson and two other cult members, Patricia Krenwinkel and Leslie Van Houten, were tried for the 1969 cult killings of Tate; Leno and Rosemary La Bianca; and four others. Tate, the wife of filmmaker Roman Polanski, was 8 1/2 months pregnant.
Sharon Tate's sister, Debra Tate, the last surviving member of her immediate family, sent a letter to the board opposing Atkins' release.
"She is a cold-blooded woman who to this day has not displayed any remorse," wrote Tate, who lives in the Los Angeles area.
The defendants maintained their innocence throughout the trial. Once convicted, the women confessed to the killings during the penalty phase.
On the stand, Atkins recounted her role in stabbing Tate, who pleaded for the life of her unborn baby. Atkins claimed she was on LSD at the time but did not apologize for the crime until a parole hearing years later.
Her brother, Steve Atkins, told the parole board Tuesday that he and his sister had been abused as children.
"After Susan got in with Manson, she was lost to me," he said. "Please let us be with Susan in private in her last days, to pray with her and give our last good-byes."
The defendants were sentenced to death, but their terms were commuted to life sentences when the U.S. Supreme Court temporarily ruled the death penalty unconstitutional. Manson and the two other women remain in state prison.
Atkins has spent 37 years in the California Institution for Women, where she has been held longer than any other female inmate in state history. She was transferred to the hospital in March.
Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley said that's where she ought to remain. In a letter to the parole board, Cooley said the nature of Atkins' crimes alone should rule out any release.
He noted that after Atkins stabbed Tate, she tasted her blood and used it to write the word "Pig" on the victim's door.
Los Angeles County prosecutor Patrick Sequeira said the board made the right decision because of the crime Atkins committed. He said he informed Debra Tate and two other relatives of the victims.
"They are both relieved and pleased with the decision," Sequeira said. "It obviously doesn't take away the pain for them."
He said it's unclear whether a Los Angeles County judge can consider the compassionate release request from Atkins' attorneys without a recommendation from the parole board.
Compassionate releases are rare in California, with just 10 of 60 requests granted last year, Corrections Department spokeswoman Terry Thornton said.
Atkins' medical treatment and paying for prison guards to watch over her has cost state taxpayers more than $1.4 million since March, according to the corrections department.
Atkins, 60, has been denied parole 12 times.

Cellulitis for 500 Alex

Cellulitis (sel-u-LI-tis) is a common, potentially serious bacterial skin infection. Cellulitis appears as a swollen, red area of skin that feels hot and tender, and it may spread rapidly.
Skin on lower legs is most commonly affected, though cellulitis can occur anywhere on your body or face. Infections on the face are more common in children and older adults. Cellulitis may affect only your skin's surface — or, cellulitis may also affect tissues underlying your skin and can spread to your lymph nodes and bloodstream.
Left untreated, the spreading infection may rapidly turn life-threatening. That's why it's important to seek immediate medical attention if cellulitis symptoms occur.

Jesse Helms and Bozo Die

It was announced that both Jesse Helms and Bozo died this past week. How sad that one who did such good died the same time as one do did not. Bozo left only fond memories in his wake whilst Herr Helms left none.

We'd like a Dubonnet

servant's letters auctioned

By JILL LAWLESS Associated Press Writer
LONDON (AP) -- Collectors paid thousands of pounds (dollars) Saturday for letters from British royalty to a trusted servant, including a note from the late Queen Mother Elizabeth requesting the aide pack bottles of gin and Dubonnet for an outing, "in case it is needed."
The note sold for 16,000 pounds ($32,000) at an auction of mementoes belonging to royal servant William Tallon.
Tallon, nicknamed "Backstairs Billy" by the press, joined the royal household at age 15 and served the family for 51 years, rising to become the queen mother's steward and Page of the Backstairs. He died in November, aged 72.
His vast collection of royal memorabilia includes photographs, paintings, gifts, letters and Christmas cards, and gives an insight into the informal side of life in the royal family.
The queen mother's letter to Tallon had been expected to sell for about 300 pounds ($600) but drew a flurry of telephone bids
In it, the mother of Queen Elizabeth II requested lunch outdoors and said she wanted to take along "two small bottles of Dubonnet and gin ... in case it is needed."
A 1982 letter from Princess Diana telling Tallon about the birth of her first child, Prince William, sold for 5,000 pounds ($10,000). "We are not sure at the moment what has hit us, except a very strong pair of lungs!" the princess wrote. "Both parents are making little sense, we just seem to spend most of our time gazing at this tiny person!"
Another letter, in which Diana thanked Tallon for putting flowers in her room before the "great day" of her July 29, 1981 wedding, sold for 4,200 pounds ($8,400).
The sale also included items from the collection of Tallon's long-term partner Reginald Wilcock, an underbutler in the royal household. Tallon inherited his memorabilia when Wilcock died in 2001.
The sale caused a buzz among royal memorabilia collectors, attracting about 300 people to the Reeman Dansie auction house in Colchester, east of London. Auctioneers said 1,000 more followed the sale by phone and over the Internet.
The 700 lots were valued collectively at about 250,000 pounds ($500,000), but auctioneer James Grinter said the final total was likely to be much higher. Proceeds will go to the beneficiaries of Tallon's will.
"For a lot of people, it's the only way they can get anything that touches the queen mother," Grinter said. "There is something here for everyone and people are hoping to get their own little memento."

The Ancients and Horribles

Long live the spoof.
The 82nd annual Ancients & Horribles Parade in Glocester takes place tomorrow, July Fourth, in the village of Chepachet, where, for a day at least, irreverence reigns.
“We are an odd mix of patriotism and irreverence,” says Connie Leathers, the parade chairwoman. “This is the only place where you can be politically incorrect and be rewarded.”
The float deemed best in the parade will win $500; the one regarded as most “ancient” will win $250; and the one most “horrible” will win $100.
This naturally raises questions: What are Ancients and Horribles? And when did adjectives become nouns?
As it turns out, it involves a healthy dose of creative license, a loosening of language, and a parody of history. In the mid 1600s, the nation’s oldest military organization, the Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company of Massachusetts, was established in Boston, where it’s still headquartered and carries on social and ceremonial functions.
“And Rhode Islanders being Rhode Islanders made fun of them,” Leathers explains.
Rhode Islanders took their fun to the streets. What started out as a mocking joke has become a rejoicing tradition: the Ancients & Horribles Parade.
Actually, there’s more than one. Cumberland also has a version, the Arnold Mills Parade, which is also in its 82nd year and founded on the Ancient and Horribles theme, but now isn’t nearly as frivolous as Glocester’s
“Theirs is more of a spoof,” says Joyce Hindle Koutsogiane, chairwoman of the Arnold Mills Parade. “We’ve gotten away from that in recent years. Ours is more of a traditional parade.”
The 1.5-mile parade features 17 bands and marching groups, including the Cycling Murrays.
“They play the fife while on unicycles. So that’s interesting.”
There’s also a stilt walker and a group of re-enactors who portray a British regiment during the Revolutionary War. The parade, according to Koutsogiane, is like Bristol’s, but different.
“It’s shorter and easier to access and leave. It’s not a whole day, and it’s still quite a parade.”
You may still see some vestiges of the Cumberland parade’s Ancients & Horribles roots.
“There is a lot to spoof,” Koutsogiane says.
And if spoofing’s what you want, Glocester is offering.
“We carry it a little further,” Leathers says.
But is carrying on in keeping with the Fourth of July?
Absolutely, according to Leathers, who points out that there’s a significant and fundamental Constitutional tenet embedded beneath the parade’s silliness: freedom of speech.
“If something is too profane or off-color, we have the right to refuse admittance. We want people to come and make their statement.”
Many accept the offer, saying all sorts of things. Although often Leathers isn’t quite sure what exactly is being said.
“There seems to be an inordinate interest among men to dress as women. And some are pretty good.”
Any topic is game for public display in the parade, which is something of a series of strolling and rolling skits.
“It’s whatever people feel strongly about.”
Often what people feel strongly about is what’s in the news. Vice President Cheney was spoofed for his hunting accident, and Rep. Patrick Kennedy was spoofed for his Ambien-induced late-night car accident, which featured a float careening down the street with a sign on the back: “I still drive better than my father.”
“It was tasteless,” Leathers says. “But it was funny.”
The Ancients & Horribles Parade isn’t all fun and games. There are traditional marching bands and contingents of war veterans and members of the Rhode Island National Guard.
“There is something for everyone to see. But it’s not necessarily always in good taste.”
If you want good taste, Bristol may be a better option, which tends to attract more politicians and so-called dignitaries.
“This is not a place to come to be a status-seeking individual. We are real life,” says Leathers.
And some citizens of Glocester take this parade seriously, while others don’t do so at all.
“There are folks who spend months working on their floats, and you can tell who they are. You can also tell the people who spent two hours and a half case of beer. That’s OK. The whole idea is for people to enjoy themselves.”
But once again, remember that your enjoyment of the parade on July 4 is made possible by the very principles that the holiday celebrates: independence, and everything that follows from it.
“It celebrates the American spirit of irreverence and saying what you think. There is always a place for people who do that. Everyone is always worried about what other people will think. This parade makes you think about what we’re thinking.”

the ugliest builing in america is...

The winner in most people's book is Boston City Hall. It is hideous and brutal but should it be torn down? Some architectual Historians say no! This is a perfect example of a school of modernist architecture know as brutalism. The current school of thought is YES. The vote is out. You be the judge. An ugly building surrounded by an forbiding plaza across the street from Colonial American icons.mmmmm?

Tim Russet RIP

WASHINGTON - Tim Russert, NBC News’ Washington bureau chief and the moderator of “Meet the Press,” died Friday after a sudden heart attack at the bureau, NBC News said Friday. He was 58.

Look through Your CD's!!!!!

It is summer-ish and time to look through your old Cd's and listen to your "summer music". If you don't have in your Pile anything by Corner Shop shame on you. Now get your shameful ass down to your local indepentent, you heard me right, independent music store and buy something by Corner Shop. Oh they don't have anything. Ask them to order it! Don't be a puss. Ask them. They will think you are so much cooler than your really are just for asking! Get It! Paki Rock!

Bye Mommy

PHOENIX - Thelma Keane, the inspiration for the Mommy character in the long-running "Family Circus" comic created by her husband, Bil Keane, has died. She was 82.
She died Friday of Alzheimer's disease, the family said.
"Family Circus," which Keane began drawing in 1960, depicts the good-humored life of two parents and their four children. It is now featured in about 1,500 newspapers.
"She was the inspiration for all of my success," Bil Keane, 85, told The Associated Press from his home in Paradise Valley on Sunday. "When the cartoon first appeared, she looked so much like Mommy that if she was in the supermarket pushing her cart around, people would come up to her and say, 'Aren't you the Mommy in 'Family Circus?' and she would admit it."
Bil and Thelma "Thel" Keane met during World War II in the war bond office in Brisbane, Australia. She was a native Australian working as an accounting secretary, and Bil worked next to her as a promotional artist for the U.S. Army.
"I had this desk alongside the most beautiful Australian 18-year-old girl with long brown hair," Bil Keane said. "And I got up enough nerve to ask her for a date."
The two married in 1948 and moved to Bil Keane's hometown of Philadelphia. They had five children and moved to the Phoenix suburb of Paradise Valley in 1958.
Not only was Thelma Keane the inspiration for the always-loving and ever-patient comic character also named Thel, but she worked full-time as her husband's business and financial manager. Her family says she was the reason Bil Keane became one of the first syndicated newspaper cartoonists to win back all rights to his comic.
"There was nothing that I did in the cartoon world or in the business world that she wasn't the instigator of, and she certainly deserves all the credit that I get credit for," Bil Keane said.
Thelma Keane's Alzheimer's disease was diagnosed about five years ago, and she had been at an assisted-living center near the family home for the last three years, said her daughter, Gayle Keane, 58, of Napa, Calif.
Just last month, Gayle Keane said, her mother was singing and dancing as the family visited her and celebrated her birthday.
"We all had a time to say goodbye in the end," Gayle Keane said. "I just think she's in a better place, and she's not dealing with that fog and confusion that Alzheimer's brings into your life."
Bil Keane continues to produce "Family Circus" with the help of his youngest son, Jeff. Keane sketches out the ideas, characters and captions and sends them to Jeff for inking.
In addition to Bil, Gayle and Jeff Keane, survivors include her sons Neal, Glen and Christopher, and nine grandchildren.
Keane said that although his wife is gone, she is still with him.
"The losing of Thel is a heartbreaking thing for me," he said. "However, it makes me realize how important she was to my worldly success, and I know where she is now, I feel that she's still helping me and probably giving me the inspirations you can only get from an angel in heaven."
___
On the Net:
Family Circus: http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/ap/ap_on_en_ot/storytext/obit_thelma_keane/27627010/SIG=10u4c4oi8/*http://www.familycircus.com/

A Tasteful Getaway

NEW ORLEANS -- A drag queen robbery suspect is giving police a run for their money. New Orleans police say the man robbed the fast food chain wearing a dress, a necklace and a two-tone wig.
Witnesses told police the man climbed through the drive-thru window of a neighborhood Burger King holding a gun.
Security video from the restaurant caught the man in action. The suspect went to the front of the restaurant and forced a worker to empty the cash registers. The man then left the restaurant back through the drive-thru window.
Crime and Safety Specialist, Howard Robertson, analyzed the security video. He says it's possible the man is a real cross dresser

Evil Grass

Do you eyes itch? Is your nose running? Is your neighbor mowing? Are you sure it is grass? It seems that this season the biggest pollenator is "Common Timothy". This stuff is everywhere and out to get you! Beware the Common Timothy!

Kurt Kauper paints them nude

Do you like nude pictures of hockey players? Of course you do! Kurt Kauper paints fun paintings of hockey stars and actors nude. They are fun and funny paintings that are sure to make Bobby Orr blush! Check out his website: KurtKauper.com It is alot of fun!

Mr Peabody's Creator has Died!!!!

PHILADELPHIA - Cartoonist Ted Key, whose comic strip "Hazel" about a bossy maid went from magazine page to TV screen, died Saturday at his home in the Philadelphia suburb of Tredyffrin Township. He was 95.
Mr. Key had battled cancer, his son Peter said.
"Hazel" was a popular feature in The Saturday Evening Post from the time it debuted in 1943. It evolved into a prime-time series in 1961 that starred Shirley Booth and ran for four years on NBC and one year on CBS.
Mr. Key also created the characters Mr. Peabody and Sherman for producer Jay Ward. The time-traveling dog/scientist and his boy made their TV debuts in 1959 in segments on the show "Rocky and His Friends."
He created cartoon panels called "Diz and Liz" for Jack and Jill children's magazine, and produced a number of other animated animal characters. He also wrote a play for radio, wrote and illustrated books, and had freelance cartoons appear in Cosmopolitan, Better Homes and Gardens, and Sports Illustrated.
Mr. Key literally dreamed up the concept of his wildly popular maid cartoon.
"Like a lot of creative people, he kept a notepad near his bedside," Peter Key said of his father. "He had a dream about a maid who took a message, but she screwed it up completely. When he looked at the idea the next day, he thought it was good and sold it to the Post."
Mr. Key randomly picked the name for the maid. He was flattered that it later became synonymous with maids, according to his son.
Mr. Key acquired the rights to "Hazel" in 1969, and the comic was picked up for syndication by King Features. King still distributes the cartoon today, using those drawn by Mr. Key before he retired in 1993.
"Hazel" was so popular that when the first collection of cartoons was published in 1946, E.P. Dutton sold 500,000 copies. In all, Dutton published eight collections of "Hazel" cartoons.
Theodore Keyser was born in Fresno, Calif., on Aug. 25, 1912. His father, a Latvian immigrant who had changed his last name from Katseff to Keyser, changed his name to Key during World War I.
Mr. Key was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2006 and suffered a stroke in September.
In addition to his son, he leaves his second wife, Bonnie, two other sons, and three grandchildren. His first wife, Anne, died in 1984

A Lesbian is a Lesbian is a Lesbian

By NICHOLAS PAPHITIS, Associated Press Writer
ATHENS, Greece - A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos and the world's gay women.
Three islanders from Lesbos — home of the ancient poet Sappho, who praised love between women — have taken a gay rights group to court for using the word lesbian in its name.
One of the plaintiffs said Wednesday that the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.
"My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos," he said.
The three plaintiffs are seeking to have the group barred from using "lesbian" in its name and filed a lawsuit on April 10. The other two plaintiffs are women.
Also called Mytilene, after its capital, Lesbos is famed as the birthplace of Sappho. The island is a favored holiday destination for gay women, particularly the lyric poet's reputed home town of Eressos.
"This is not an aggressive act against gay women," Lambrou said. "Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like. We just want (the group) to remove the word lesbian from their title."
He said the plaintiffs targeted the group because it is the only officially registered gay group in Greece to use the word lesbian in its name. The case will be heard in an Athens court on June 10.
Sappho lived from the late 7th to the early 6th century B.C. and is considered one of the greatest poets of antiquity. Many of her poems, written in the first person and intended to be accompanied by music, contain passionate references to love for other women.
Lambrou said the word lesbian has only been linked with gay women in the past few decades. "But we have been Lesbians for thousands of years," said Lambrou, who publishes a small magazine on ancient Greek religion and technology that frequently criticizes the Christian Church.
Very little is known of Sappho's life. According to some ancient accounts, she was an aristocrat who married a rich merchant and had a daughter with him. One tradition says that she killed herself by jumping off a cliff over an unhappy love affair.
Lambrou says Sappho was not gay. "But even if we assume she was, how can 250,000 people of Lesbian descent — including women — be considered homosexual?"
The Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece could not be reached for comment.

Jimi Jimi Jimi

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Vivid Entertainment is releasing a sex tape allegedly starring Jimi Hendrix.
The Los Angeles-based adult entertainment company said they obtained the footage of the music legend shot in a hotel room about 40 years ago from a memorabilia collector.
The footage features Hendrix engaging in various sexual acts with two women, according to a statement released by Vivid. The company said they consulted with several experts to authenticate the footage.
Hendrix died of a drug overdose in 1970. Seattle-based representatives for Hendrix's estate did not want to comment about the tape.

The Art of Lice

A group of German artists are living in an Isreali art galley for the next month. Not at all odd you may think. The artists are living, eating and doing other natural things in thie gallery only they are covered in lice. The artists have lice living in their hair. Lice are parasites as were Jews thought to be in Nazi Germany.

RIP: Helen Court

Hazel Court, 'scream queen' of 1950s, '60s horror films in Britain and the United States
By Bruse Weber
New York Times News Service / April 20, 2008
NEW YORK - Hazel Court, a British actress who began as a popular ingenue and became a cult figure as a "scream queen" in horror films on both sides of the Atlantic, died Tuesday in Lake Tahoe, Calif.
She was 82 and lived in Lake Tahoe.
The cause was a heart attack, said her daughter Sally Walsh of Los Angeles.
A redheaded, leggy, green-eyed beauty who was a busy film actress and a pinup girl in England in the 1950s, Miss Court went on to make dozens of guest appearances on American television.
She also had a long and varied professional life, including a second career as a sculptor.
She became best known for showing considerable cleavage and screaming bloody murder in movies such as "Devil Girl From Mars" (1954), "The Curse of Frankenstein" (1957), "Doctor Blood's Coffin" (1961), and Roger Corman's treatments of three works by Edgar Allan Poe: "Premature Burial" (1962), "The Raven" (1963), and "The Masque of the Red Death" (1964).
In the last two, her best-known films, she costarred with Vincent Price.
Her scream-queen roles continued to bring her fan mail - up to 100 letters a month, Walsh said - until her death.
"She knew it wasn't serious acting," Walsh said.
"She and Vincent were extremely close, and they found humor in everything," she said. "They had a ton of fun, and they didn't take the movies seriously. But she took her fan mail seriously. She was amazed by and touched by it, and she answered every one."
Miss Court was born in Sutton Coldfield, outside Birmingham, England, on Feb. 10, 1926.
She began acting on stage as a teenager and first appeared on screen in an uncredited bit part in the 1944 film "Champagne Charlie."
Over the next decade and a half, she graduated to featured roles and then to leads, marrying her first husband, the actor Dermot Walsh, along the way.
They divorced in 1963, and she later married Don Taylor, the American actor and director, who died in 1998.
Miss Court first visited the United States in 1958, when CBS imported a television series filmed in London, a cross-cultural situation comedy called "Dick and the Duchess," in which she starred with Patrick O'Neal as an English girl married to an American man. She also filmed the first of four episodes of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents."
Miss Court eventually relocated to Los Angeles.
From 1962 to 1972 she appeared frequently on network television series.
Her acting career ended in the 1970s.
In its place she took up stone sculpturing, studying in Italy and accepting and completing commissions that included one for the library at Pennsylvania State University.
She also wrote an autobiography, "Hazel Court: Horror Queen," to be published this month by an English publisher, Tomahawk Press.
In the book, she wrote that though she might have achieved renown as an actress who shrieked and bled with abandon, she always retained the ladylike primness with which she was raised.
"Just in case I should pop off to Heaven in the night, I always remember to wash up, punch up the cushions, and straighten up after a dinner party," she wrote. "I wouldn't want everyone to come in and find it a mess. It's very English of me."

Vulgar Once Obese Talk Show Host Files For Divorce

Who else but the vilest of the vile, the fattest of the fat Star (I'm getting married)Jones could make such an ass of herself and throw the most vulgar wedding in years and now file for divorce. I guess now that she has not or maybe she has had a gastric bypass she is ready to move on. What was that guy thinking?

Vanilla Who?

Vanilla Ice was arrested for assaulting his wife in Florida. Or was it for still trying to be a celebrity. 18 years baby 18years.

I'm Dead I'm Dead I'm Dead

Brief description of putrefaction of a human body with respect to time of death
2-3 days: Staining begins on the abdomen. The body begins to swell owing to gas formation.

3-4 days: The staining spreads and veins become discoloured.

5-6 days: The abdomen swells with gas (produced by the bacteria to decompose the body), and the skin blisters.

2 weeks : The abdomen becomes very tight and swollen.

3 weeks : Tissues begin to soften. Organs and cavities are bursting. The nails fall off.

4 weeks : Soft tissues begin to liquefy, and the face becomes unrecognisable.

The exact rate of putrefaction is, of course, dependent upon many factors, such as weather, exposure, and location.

The worst of the 90's is BACK

One of the worst parts of the 90's music scene was the boy bands. I don't even know how they can be called bands as most of themplayed no intruments, but they were. Today it was announced one of the very worst of them is re-forming! The New Kids on the Block is back and has recorded again! Just when it looked like American Idol was the worst thing to ever happen to the American music scene this crap has reappeared. This time the "kids" are all in their late 30's and even more pathetic. Are they that desperate for money? Is this country that desperate for entertainment? Why? Why? Why? Who is next Milli Vanilli?

Kraftwerk's Dinger Dead

By Jonathan Cohen
NEW YORK (Billboard) - German musician Klaus Dinger, who played drums in the early days of Kraftwerk and went on to co-found Neu!, died March 21 of heart failure. He was 61. The news was not widely publicized until Neu!'s label, Gronland, announced it Wednesday.
Dinger and guitarist Michael Rother played with Kraftwerk in the early 1970s before opting to leave and form Neu! The group released three albums in rapid succession: a self-titled effort in 1972, "Neu! 2" the following year and "Neu! '75" in 1975.
Although the albums were not legally available on CD in the United States until 2001, the precise rhythms and pre-punk minimalism conjured by Dinger and Rother were a major influence on countless acts, from Sonic Youth to Tortoise and Stereolab.
Neu! disbanded after "Neu '75" but returned to the studio in 1985-86 to record new music. Material from these sessions was finally released in 1995 as "Neu! 4," although a Rother confidant later said it was only done to counter rampant bootlegging.
After Neu!, Dinger went on to form La Dusseldorf, which achieved international stardom with singles such as "Silver Cloud" and "Rheinita."
"Together with many friends of his music I will remember Klaus for his creativity as an artist and I will think about him with gratitude for his wonderful contributions to our project Neu!," Rother said in a statement.
Reuters/Billboard

Doomed I Tell You Doomed!

Doomed I Tell You Doomed!
Society in modern America frightens me. It frightens me that in this day and age someone can be denied access to this country for moral turpitude. Moral Turpitude! Who lodged these charges? Mary Baker Eddy? When was the last time some one was charged with moral turpitude? We are going to hell! The signs are appearing! Madonna is in the rock and roll hall of fame! Who’s next Cher? I’m sure Madonna is a very nice lady but lets face it rock and roll she is not. She may possibly roll but certainly doesn’t rock. I blame this all on Nancy Reagan. The bitch got the whole thing started. Her war on fun is being fully waged now. We are under attack. The Morally Correct are taking over the world. The only good thing I can say about Madonna being inducted into the hall of fame is at least she has no morals and if she does she certainly doesn’t flaunt them. Don’t get me wrong our society has sluts but they are all vapid sluts. Brittany Spears doesn’t have an intellectual thought in her head. She goes shopping and out for big gulps. Paris Hilton should be voted into the vapid hall of fame along with all her fans. Fans of what exactly I don’t know. Did you hear any of her CD? I have to admit I did give 3 tracks about 15 seconds each. The dumbing down and moral correctness is undermining our society. Where is Mimi Farina when we need her? What’s going on in our society is bullshit. Barak Obama smoked pot. Come on, he grew up in the 70’s and was in college in the eighties, who didn’t smoke pot? Even christians smoked pot! If you didn’t you were suspect. Thank goodness for people like Barney Frank. He has been trying to decriminalize marijuana for years. SICK PEOPLE NEED IT. Stoners don’t go out and get into high speed car wrecks; drunks do. Stoners can’t find their keys.
Sebastian Horsley can’t come into this country because he admitted to having been arrested and using drugs. Boy George seems to have no problem crossing borders. Where is the justice in that? Amy Winehouse is the junkie du jour. Perhaps it is England causing all our problems. It must be a plot of Prince Philip’s. Is he hatching another evil plan in a tower of Balmoral? Is this all in retribution for 1776? It would explain George Michael’s latest tour.
We are doomed I tell you doomed! People don’t play guitars anymore they play a computer game about playing guitars! We are turning into mindless spineless jelly. How much longer until evolution evolves us back to a protoplasm? Is it our future to exist as mere electrical impulses in ectoplasm? Are we to become cognisant aspic? What does Lee Ron Hubbard have to say? Some one summon Sacred Leader Cruise for advice.

Poor Pamela Anderson

It is official Pamela Anderson is single again! She and husband du jour are calling it quits. They are asking for an anullment! Does this mean she will take up with Tommy again? Isn't that what she usually does? Poor vapid thing!

It seems her marriage was a fraud! The soon to be ex was once married to Shannon Doherty. That's a man with good taste No?

Call the Morals Police! STAT!

By JILL LAWLESS, Associated Press Writer Fri Mar 21, 7:57 AM ET
LONDON - British writer and self-styled dandy Sebastian Horsley was denied entry to the United States after arriving to promote his memoir of sex, drugs and flamboyant fashion.
Horsley said he was questioned for eight hours Tuesday by border officials at Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey before being denied entry on grounds of "moral turpitude."
The 45-year-old author was traveling to New York for the U.S. launch of "Dandy in the Underworld," his account of a life dedicated to sex, drugs and finely tailored clothes.
"I was dressed flamboyantly — top hat, long velvet coat, gloves," Horsley said. "My one concession to American sensibilities was to remove my nail polish. I thought that would get me through."
According to Lucille Cirillo, a spokeswoman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection, Horsley was traveling under the CBP's visa waiver program, which entitles citizens of some countries — mostly in the European Union — to enter the United States for business or leisure without applying for a visa. Travelers can be refused entry if they admit on a customs form to being convicted of a crime or to being addicted to narcotics, Cirillo said.
She declined to specify what responses Horsley listed on the form.
"We interviewed the individual extensively and the CBP officers decided he was not admissible under the visa waiver program," she said.
Horsley can still apply for a visa to return to the United States, Cirillo said.
"They knew more about me than I did," Horsley said Thursday in an interview from his London home. "They said, 'We know you're a heroin addict, we know you're a crack addict, we know you're involved in prostitution.'"
Horsley's book — billed as an "unauthorized autobiography" — vividly recounts years of heavy drug use and frequent visits to prostitutes. He says he has been drug-free for three years.
He said his only conviction stemmed from an arrest 25 years ago for possession of amphetamine sulfate, for which he was given a conditional discharge. He said he has visited the United States seven or eight times without incident.
"Dandy in the Underworld" was released in Britain last year to good reviews. Carrie Kania, of the book's U.S. publisher Harper Perennial, an imprint of HarperCollins, said the book was "a cautionary tale of a life lived vividly."
"It is unfortunate that his voice, in person, is being stifled. But the book will live on," Kania said.
Horsley achieved his greatest notoriety in 2000 when he had himself crucified in the Philippines as part of an art project

From Found Magazine

From Found Magazine

Found Magazine

I am a huge fan of found magazine. It is truly one of the funniest magazines. They also have a website www.foundmagazine.com I highly recommend checking it out. It never ceases to crack me up. There are compilaton books available as well. In one of the books is a found piece that used to hang in the bathroom of my old apartment. My old room mate Paul had found it as well as the person who submitted it to the magazine. It is a flier for a "Legendary Teenage Drummer". It is hilarious!

Klaus Naomi

I was shocked to find there was nothing in Wikipedia on Klaus Naomi! I once found him so fascinating. He was the oddest of the odd the weirdest of the weird. My first memory of him was on Saturday Night Live when he was David Bowies back up singer. The next time I saw him he was in the window of Fiorucci in Manhattan. I was there to buy some fab thing or another and was entranced by him. I was rumaging through a record store one day in the East Village and found a copy of his record. I have over the years lost that record but I somewhere have a tape with one of his songs on it. I think is is most likely "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead" but there were several others that I loved. "Simple Man" was I think my favorite! I have done a bit of a search for him on the internet and turned up next to nothing. Is he just a footnote? Am I the only one who remembers him? Klaus Naomi where for art thou?

Black Halo's Ripped Off Please

This email was justpassed on to me. I don't know if anyone will see this or know of any of the stuff but I felt it needed to be passed on

Date: Mar 17, 2008 10:03 AMSubject: black halos gear ripped off in montrealBody: hi friends, please keep your eye's open for the following:thx- johnnyBlack Halos Gear, Merch and CD's all stolenBody: Black Halos Gear, Merch and CD..s all stolenLast night in Montreal our van and trailer was stolen with all our our gear, merch and CD..s. None of these items are insured.Below is a list of gear that was stolen. PLEASE WATCH FOR ANY OF THESE ITEMS on the internet or at pawn shops.Please also note we had close to 400 CD..s stolen with our merch. IF YOU SEE THE CD..S ("WE ARE NOT ALONE") FOR SALE ON ANY WEBSITE OTHER THAN HISTORY MUSIC, PEOPLE LIKE YOU OR ACETATE SITES PLEASE E-MAIL US.PLEASE RE-POST THIS EVERYWHERE YOU CANRob..sLudwig 4 piece drum set Red Glitter Metal Flake24 inch Bass drum w/ Black Halos front head logo14 inch Rack Tom18 inch Floor Tom14 x 6.5 inch Dunnett custom metal snare drum (personally autgoraphed by Dunnett on inside of shell)DW 5000 double chain drum pedal3 Pearl strait cymbal stands1 Pearl high hat stand24 inch Paiste 2002 Ride Cymbal14 inch Zildjen Z series high hats18 inch Zildjen A series Rock Crash19 inch Zildjen A series Rock Crash16 inch Zildjen A series Rock CrashYamaha snare standPearl rack tom mount standAll drums are in hard shell black cases all with yellow Black Halos logo on themJohnny..stwo guitars in red/silver aluminum road case. guitar one: 1960 Gibsonles paul( sunburst finish). it has been re- finished on the backsideof the neck by the head-stock. it’s dis-colored there.guitar two: white, Sparrow rat-rod ( looks like a les paul). has ablack pic guard and has the black halos logo lettering on thebody.skull and wings on the back of body.one,Bogner guitar head. 100 watt model ( the Ecstasy) black , with no handle. one traynor new 4/12 guitar cab with vitage 30's. black with metal front.one, Fender 4/10 deville guitar amp. black/silverone orange tool box full of guitar cords/ guitar strings/ threeguitar effect’s pedals.pedals from orange box: 1.) vox wah-wah ( silver/blk)2.) boss, super distortion (yellow)3.) custom red/black distortionpedal. (turbo tube screamer)one suitcase with guitar effects pedal board. pedal 1.) bogner foot controller2.) boss tuner (white/black3.) morley a/b amp switch4.) boss super phaser (green)5.) digitech wah pedal ( red/black)two guitar stands, one holds 3 guitar/ the other holds 5.Adam..s1 Black Custom made Sparrow primitive 335 Electric Hollowbody guitar. No Serial Numbername ....Vanessa.... painted on headstock . Silver Skull and Wings Art work on front of guitar.Silver Black Halos Logo painted on back of guitar.1 Black Custom made Sparrow primitive 335 Electric Hollowbody guitar. No Serial NumberBlue with Purple Detailed graphic artwork.1 modified Peavey 100 watt Classic Guitar Amplifier Head. See Band Manifest for Serial NumberTweed in Colour with Leapard Print Fabric on Front. Various stickers and Tape.1 Black Scuba zip off BackPack.Contains the following guitar items.1 Blue MXR 10 band EQ guitar effect box.See Band Manifest for Serial Numbershardwired powercord attached had pink tape on it1 modified Blue MXR 10 band EQ guitar effect box. Serial number not available.no powercord attached. switch installed. had pink tape on it.1 white Boss TU-2 guitar tuner. See Band Manifest for serial number.3 black 18 ft guitar cords1 black 2 ft gtr cord1 tweed 18 ft guitar cord2 blue 6 inch guitar cords1 black 3 ft speaker cordapproximately 7-10 packs Ernie Ball Guitar Strings1 pack of 50 sparrow guitar pics1 Black 4x12 Trayner Guitar Speaker CabinetJR..sFender Precision Bass. Sunburst finish with black pickguard.SKB Fender hardshell case.Rickenbacker 4003 Bass. Jet Glo (Black) finish with black Pickguardiancustom pickup cover.Rickenbacker hardshell case.Gallien-Krueger 800RB bass head.Traynor TC810 bass cabinetProco Turbo Rat distortion pedalBoss TU-2 Cromatic TunerBlack bag with pedals also had items below.2 Yorkville 20" patch cords (angled end)1 Yorkville 10" patch cord2 packs medium L&M bass strings.PLEASE RE-POST THIS EVERYWHERE YOU CANIF YOU HAVE ANY INFO ABOUT ANY OF THESE ITEMS PLEASE CONTACT DANNY CAMEOdannycameo@shaw.ca(604) 781-2075

The 31 Cranston

Departing just feet from the Intermodal RIRTA bus terminal in Kennedy Plaza at pole “E” the 31 Cranston eventually terminates feet into Cranston at the Brewery Parkade. This is my route. I live in the Armory and the 31 passes within a block from my place. All my RIPTA adventures start on the 31 and so shall this column. The 31 is a colorful and surprisingly efficient route.
Starting at Kennedy Plaza the bus travels past city hall and onto Washington St. passing the Grande Dame of Providence Hotels, the Biltmore. The first stop is at Mathewson St. between Lupo’s and Local 121 directly across from the Arnold Building one of, if not the narrowest building in Providence. The next stop after passing Trinity Sq. is the Beau Arts edifice of the Providence Public Library. The 31 then crosses over the 95 canyon by the “public safety complex” and zigzags onto Westminster past Classical and Central High Schools plus the coffee shops and bookstores of Hoyle Square. Westminster veers to the right and Cranston St. to the left of the original Citizen’s Bank building once the locale of Hoyle’s Tavern ,the name sake of the square. After the Hoyle Square stop the 31 continues along Cranston St. passing the burned out relic of the Loutit dry cleaning plant; fabled to be the sight of future condominiums. Who would want to live in such a toxic place? Wiggin Village is just past on the right at the corner of Cranston and Bridgeham Streets is the Wiggimat. In my opinion, the best name of any business in all of Providence.
Along the next block is Tropical Liquors. There is always not often but always something happening along this block. On the right just past Tropical is the Armory building itself. The turreted and parapeted castle looms medievally for an entire city block. My usual stop is at Parade St directly in front of the castle itself, what better bus stop could there be? Armory Park and it’s Victorian painted ladies is to the right and the hood is to the left. Once the 31 crosses Parade St. it enters the heart of the Westend. Bodegas and hair salons, music stores and ethnic restaurants line block after block of Cranston St. La Excellencia a most aptly named burrito place is a block past the Armory on the left. Five bucks will get you a fantastic burrito the size of your head. Further along on the right is the Ebenezer Baptist church and some of the best Sunday morning hats you will ever see. Almost directly across the street is Dairy King, an old school walk up ice cream shop where fudgicles and soft serve are sold through the window onto the sidewalk.
Cranston Street continues on passing African markets and Laundromats, Liquor stores and bars until the city line where it passes across Huntington Ave. and under Rte. 10. At the next block the 31 turns onto Garfield Ave. at the Cranston Court house and goes into The Brewery Parkade the site of the departed and beloved Narragansett Brewery. This is the terminus of the route in front of a Lowes, Stop and Shop and a few other big box stores.
Service on the 31 is regular and follows the schedule more or less. It runs 7 days a week and holidays starting at 5:50 am until 11:55pm weekdays and 7am to 8pm on the weekends. The morning and evening commute times are often crowded especially when school is in session. A mix of different people ride this convenient and some times very colorful route. Overheard one Friday afternoon: “Be careful of her! She’s got a Vetrinarial disease!”

The City in the Winter

The Sleazies

cold beer hot pussy no cover

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Whore's Mascara

I have never been a fan of club or dance music. I guess I get bored to easily. I listen to some stuff here and there and sometimes on the rare occasions I am in a dance club or a place playing club music I do hear something I like. I recently heard something I liked and it was by Whore’s Mascara. I had naturally never heard of them but thought they sounded fun. I wrote their name down on a notebook I sometimes cleverly carry with me. A couple of days later I was cleaning out a jacket and found my clever little notebook and the words Whore’s Mascara scrawled on it, I googled them. It turns out they have a few recordings out and a couple of videos. I checked out their video on U-tube and then their MySpace page. It seems that Whore’s Mascara is two guys Chaz Kourday and Lonni Bahls sometimes joined by a woman named Girl George. They are a New York based act that I guess is dance music. I found them to be extremely funny. “All I want” is the song and video that is making the rounds right now and is a spot on interpretation of the “Gay Lifestyle”. I laughed myself silly watching the video and had to send to a couple of friends who also loved it! “ All I want is a cute blonde boy who sorts cocaine and likes Madonna” “He’s even got this great fag hag friend who’s Asian, fat and really funny” The vapidity of the “Scene” is perfectly skewered by these boys who have obviously been around.
The other songs they have on their sites are equally funny and slutty. These boys know slutty and have made it fun. “Second Coming” is an irreverent dance track that I guess I would dance to if I heard it in a club. “You were hung on the cross, when will you cum again…” a cute funny lyric that will only serve to annoy the religious right/wrong and that is always a good thing in my books. These boys aren’t going to change the world, but I am pretty sure that it isn’t the goal. They are fun and having a good time. Check them out download one of their songs onto your iPod and have a good laugh while you dance.

“Have a ‘Gansett, a Narragansett lager beer”

What goes better with punk rock than cheap beer? Free beer? Well any beer will do really, but cheap beer is a must. Narragansett beer is just one of those beers. Founded sometime in the mid 1800’s Narragansett started brewing lager beer. It became the largest brewing company in New England. Sometime in the late 20th century the brewery was bought by Falstaff brewing and basically fell out of favor and almost out of production. The biggest brand of beer in New England was for intents and purposes dead. Then right at the turn of the 21st century two guys bought the name, got some money together, hired a brew master and got the brew back on the market. They are making good Punk Rock beer. I prefer the tall boy cans; they are the traditional way to drink a ‘Gansett. It is just as good as the original and just as cheap too. If you are paying more than a couple of bucks for a draft you are being shafted! Narragansett has been preserved! These guys deserve some sort of an award for keeping a vital part of punk rock society alive. Cheap beer rules. Cosmos and Manhattans are not punk rock, beer is. That is all there is to it. Shots are great, they’re punk rock too, but beer really is king. Mickey’s and Burgie! are the closest things to Narragansett on the west coast. Narragansett’s other major brew is Haffenreffer. That’s good malt liquor! Equally as punk rock. Malt Liquor can hold its own in. There was a day when every city and area had its own local brew. Girls like Lavern and Shirley really did exist. Times have changed and become more corporate that why it is great to see companies like Narragansett making a come back. Drink the local beer, eat the local food, and see local bands. Don’t let corporate top 40 and homogenization win. Fight the man! Have a “Gansett!

Liquor Liquor Liquor

I love liquor stores. What’s not to love really? They are stores and they sell liquor what more can you want? Cigarettes? They’ve got those too! Providence has an abundance of great liquor stores. It has been a personal goal to go to as many of them as I can. I’ve always got an eye out for a new one. I am not a liquor store snob. I like a dive sometimes more than your swanker establishments. I like everything about liquor stores except one thing, the lottery. The lines always bug me and I just don’t get it. You’re not gonna win! I also don’t get the term Package store. The “packy”, I just don’t get it? I know it’s some Rhode Island expression that I just don’t get but that’s a whole other story. As I said I am always on the look out for a new store, so if you know of any please let me know!
One of my favorite liquor stores is luckily right by my apartment. Tropical Liquors on Cranston St is always a good time. Packed from opening to closing Tropical stocks as various a mix of products as their mix of clientele. You can find an excellent priced ½ 12 pack of Becks or Bass right next to the Olde English. Just across the isle from the boxed wine one can find a decent cabernet at a decent price. The place is always hopping, but nothing bad goes down ever. They don’t go for that kinda crap at Tropical Liquors.
I’m also a big fan of ENO Downtown on Westminster. It’s rather toney for my everyday usage but I do enjoy their selection. I went to a very nice beer tasting there once. I didn’t particularly care for the beer they were showcasing but it was fun and I did find a beer that I love and is hard to find. I am on the constant hunt for a Czech beer called Staropramen and I think they may have a handle on getting some. They have an excellent wine collection at moderate to high prices and a very amicable and knowledgeable staff. They don’t sell cigarettes though and that is a negative for me.
Nikki’s Liquors out on Admiral Street is the place you want to go if you are looking for interesting beer. It’s in a horrible location, an ugly shopping plaza, but the beer collection is outstanding. The prices aren’t cheap and it’s a pain in the ass to get to but I highly recommend it. They have a mixed case deal that is great. If you like craft or import beer this place is for you.
There are two liquor stores off the top of my head I love to go to just because they look great. Swan Liquors on Hope Street is the first. The old coolers and shelves are beautiful and they have a pretty good mix of stock. I used to live in the most boring place in the world, Wayland Square. The only liquor store there is beautiful as well. The coolers are gorgeous; too bad the help is so unpleasant.
I am obsessed with going to the liquor store on Douglas Ave that was in the news recently for serving underage kids. Not that I agree with serving underage kids but I am glad to know that there are still stores like that around. It’s pure nostalgia on my part. “Rinute on ice how nice.”
Campus Liquor on Hope near Wickenden is another favorite of mine. The staff is always nice and they have a great selection. It’s a store I go to if I need to buy a bottle of wine as a gift and don’t want to get screwed on the price. Where the campus its name alludes to isn’t clear to me as it’s an actual bus ride from the Brown campus but whatever. Practically on the Brown campus is an excellent liquor store Spriritus Fermenti. It wins hands down for the most pretentious name but it has a good selection and decent prices. The winner for me in the neon sign category it Nocera’s on Smith St. That is one fine sign and a good little liquor store to boot! There are lots of little liquor store around but few big ones. Gasparros on Atwells is pretty big and their wine collection is legendary. There was a liquor store called Peoples Liquor in the Brewery Parkade that I loved. It was huge. Peoples Liquor, how more egalitarian can you get? It has had a closed for renovations sign in the window for nearly a year. A liquor store with shopping carts, that’s real liquor shopping!
So do yourself a favor and go check out one of these little gems. If there is one that you think I really should see please let me know as I will make a concerted effort to check it out!

The Green Bar

Hands down the Green Bar was one of the weirdest bars in Providence. It was also famous. How many other bars in this town have been on prime time television? I was always frankly scared of it. Sure I went there but I was still always scared. I don’t know why, everyone was actually very nice. You just never knew; it had a sketchy feeling, like something was up or about to happen. That was part of its charm. This was old school Providence. Several court cases and a sale later it recently has changed hands. I wasn’t too sure about the place but I figured what the hell and one night and went in. Exactly the same; except the sketchy feeling was gone and there was decent beer on tap. There were still some crazy people there. Case in point: a very drunk “lady” quacked at me off and on and her boyfriend (?) mumbled something sounding like “steal my coat” into my ear.
One of the reasons I didn’t go to the Green Bar more often was beer. I like beer. I will drink Bud but only in a pinch. That was about it for draught beer at the Green Bar. The first time I went to the Green Bar upon entering I was met to by two ladies sharing a pitcher by the door. “You’re a han-some man. Wanna drink?” There is now a wide selection of draught beer on tap.
The juke box at the Green Bar was eclectic. I guess that would be the word for it. 70’s power metal, hip hop, punk rock, pop you name it. It had it all. I walked to the juke box with trepidation the other night. What would I find? Ta Da, it was all the same only better! Good music, cheap beer and interesting people what more can you ask for in a dive bar?
Oh yeah, the place is called Westminster Public house now.

The Eye of Providence

The eye of Providence is the all seeing eye. Look on the back of your dollars bills its there.